I'm not who you think I am.
I'm often misunderstood.
From an early age, I was taught to wear a smile even if I was crushed on the inside.
I try to be real.
In my realness, I am flawed.
Broken.
The war within me is real.
I'm torn.
Tired.
Weary.
I'm not in some big crisis.
No.
It's just the every day mundane.
Mom.
Wife.
Friend.
Daughter.
Feeling like I'm failing in every area.
Disappointed.
Discouraged.
Trying not to look back at past glories.
But wondering what happened to that vibrant 20 something.
Who could survive on minimal sleep & was always up for a new God adventure.
I'm just not who I once was.
I'm sure that's to be true for most of us.
We change.
Time changes us.
Being pressed changes us.
Trials.
Circumstances.
Life.
These things change us. Form us.
Challenge us at our very core.
Learning to be true to who I am today.
And who I am becoming tomorrow.
Because the truth is... I'm not a young twenty something anymore.
Time has done it's job in changing that.
And that's ok.
Even still...
In whatever state I am in...
I am loved.
Dearly loved.
By my Creator.
By Father.
And I rest in that truth.
That no matter how misunderstood I am...
Or I feel...
He knows me at my very core.
He understands.
He cares.
He is with me.
Always.
This is true of all of us . Everyday I get up do the same things with my eyes closed. Kids growing up,needing me more needing me less, it consumes me sometimes. Changes, they happen to all of us how we handle them ,accept them say everything.. Unfortunately we don't handle change well ,and were taught at any early she to smile and pretend like nothing was wrong ,crisis or not it makes you feel like you are having one. You are not alone!!!
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