Hunger

How often throughout the day does your hunger drive you to stop everything you are doing & grab something to eat? Or how about those moments that you are so ravenously hungry that you can't even concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing or the conversation you are having because you think your stomach is going to start eating itself any moment?!?

What if our hunger for God was that way? What if our hunger for the Word was that way? What if our hunger to worship God in spirit & in truth was that way? What if our hunger to reach the lost was that way?

...It would change everything.
A generation.
Our todays.
Our tomorrows.
Our relationships.
The Church.
Society.
The World.

I don't know... I just don't think we are hungry enough.

Maybe we allow other things to "choke out" our appetite for the One who really matters.
Maybe we've cheated ourselves with the "processed" for so long that we don't desire the "Real" anymore.

All I know is.... I've seen the face of true hunger... I've heard the SOUND of real hunger.... It hasn't been for some time...

True hunger will drive you to do things you otherwise would not do....

So "what if" we were truly hungry?

I don't know....

I just think it would change everything.

And Love Grew...

It seems so long ago now that I was thrust into a place that almost felt like a prison. Not that I know what prison feels like but I have an idea through conversations with my brother. (That is a whole other story.) It was a time in my life where it felt like everything was a go, moving full speed ahead, & definitely in the divine will of God. And then, a "suddenly moment" happened, the light turned red, it felt like everything came to a dead stop, & the light was definitely not turning green again.

My spirit was conflicted. My heart was a broken, tangled mess. My mind was a war zone. My emotions were a hurricane category 5.

I felt... Alone. Betrayed. Mistaken. Misunderstood. Forgotten. Unworthy. Unloved. Unusuable. A broken cistern unable to hold water.

I was... Afraid. Uncertain.

And perhaps it was Providence itself, the Divine One, who brought me to a place where "all of me" was laid at His feet...time and time again...Waiting....Trusting...Hoping....Believing...

I don't know when it happened. I suppose it has been a slow going process...as with most things...when it comes to the divine nature of God being revealed in us...But somewhere along the way love grew...love grew for this place that I now find myself. I honestly wouldn't have chosen it on my own, but that is what I love about my Father...He always knows best.

Wherever you are, let love grow. You might just be surprised when you begin to acknowledge God in a greater way in the process of your life...how love begins to grow in the places that you find yourself... Because you've stopped trying to figure it out on your own & you've embraced God in your journey...Leaning on Him, Trusting in Him...

Picture Perfect

Recently, I had a "friend" unfriend me on facebook. No big deal, really. This isn't junior high anymore. Usually, to be honest, I wouldn't even notice if you unfriend me on facebook...Believe it or not, I don't sit all day watching the amount of friends I have on facebook decrees or increase. The only reason I knew I was being "unfriended" was because this particular individual felt it was necessary to message me and explain their reasoning of why they were "unfriending" me. Which leads me to the following thought... If you are constantly living in a land of comparison and envy...you're missing the point of living. Keeping up with the "Jones" is a far fetched, unrealistic mindset. While you may look at other people and their families and think that they have it all together... I want to remind you, in love, that there is no such thing as "picture perfect." We live in a messy, messy world....Why? Because we have messy, messy lives. Every day, we are faced with new "messes"....The real difference is those people who whallow in the mess or realize that without Christ we are all just jacked up people. I don't know about you, but I am grateful for a  Savior who is in the business of cleaning up messes when we turn to Him, in humility, and confess our need for Him. We are truly an imperfect people who have been offered a realtionship with the Divine....Perfect God... Here's to not striving for "perfection" as the world demands it, but striving for the One who is perfect & is daily guiding our messy lives....

Remove Temptation

Being a new mom has taught me so much already. As of late, Caden has become a very active little guy crawling, cruising, climbing, and getting into anything that he can. When he heads for something he shouldn't, Andrew and I try to redirect him to something he can have such as a toy or a snack. However, wouldn't you know it...He just can't get his mind off of what he is not allowed to have & usually attempts to keep going back to it. For instance, the toilet. He is obsessed with the toilet & toilet paper. Just the other day, I had him in our laundry/guest bathroom with me while I was changing laundry over to the dryer. I had my back turned for maybe 30 seconds, I turn to check on him and he had unrolled like half a roll of toilet paper. I must admit, I did laugh because he looked so funny & was so entralled by the toilet paper. We've learned already there are some things we just have to REMOVE out of his site & ability to engage in. We now always keep the bathroom doors closed, have turned our dvd rack to face the wall so he cannot pull them off the shelf, & put a childproof lock on the bathroom cabinet where the cleaners are kept.

And sometimes, this extreme action is what is required for us if we are to truly be free in Christ as He has called us to be free. Remove the temptation. Don't even allow it in your home, in your heart, in your family, in your relationship with your spouse....

Removing the temptation doesn't mean we won't be tempted. In this life, it is a guarantee we will be tempted....some days more than others... However, removing the temptation, is telling the enemy where to to stick it & that he isn't going to win the battle for your soul that day.

Here's to living a life of freedom in Christ!

Grace for today... Hope for tomorrow...

It's been some time since my last post. I miss having the time to just sit down & put my thoughts on "paper." I'm grateful for my husband tonight...keeping the little guy so I can have some "alone" time. So here I am... On a journey of total health... Mind, Soul, Spirit, Body. I've been amazed on this journey truly learning how they all really do work together...& when one area is "under construction" the other areas are challenged.

To me, health=wholeness. So, every day is another opportunity to not just live "partially", but to live in the wholeness that is mine through Jesus work in & through me. Some thing in me finally "gets it" in a way that I never have. I'm currently on a journey of weight loss...not so much for the joy of fitting into a smaller size & being "beach ready" (while that is nice & is definately a motive), rather because I came to the place where I realized & accepted that my "size" was not glorifying God & has hindered me from fully doing the work that He has called me to do.

It has been hard work to say the least. Working out 5-6 times a week is totally kicking my butt. I'm looking forward to when I kick the workout's butt. I just realized in Zumba this morning that I can actually get through a whole class without feeling like I'm going to die afterwards.

I'm thankful for grace because some days, I don't stick to the plan or I allow my emotions to rule over me for too long...& the Holy Spirit brings correction... I am so thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit in me...

Generally, I come from a "large" or "thick" family... & though I've never said it or thought I believed it...one lie that I've dispelled is that this is just my dna to be this size. It is no longer an excuse or line of thinking. And while shedding the lbs in my thirties hasn't shown me the mercy it once did in my twenties... I know it will happen through hard work, grace, & the encouragement that comes from others that are a similiar journey. Accountability is such a beautiful thing.

What's an area in your life that is being challenged & transformed?

every day ordinary

"Every day ordinary"... I've had this phrase €€€€€and surrounding thoughts in my mind all day...every day...the last few days. Let me explain... Andrew and I have put our house up for sale. It has been on the market all of two weeks and today we had our first showing. It is a 120+ year old investment property with three apartments. We currently live in the very large two bedroom apartment. Now...rewind...a little back story for you... Andrew bought this property well before 1. we were married 2. we were even an "us." He bought it in the day that he thought he wouldn't ever be married and was living in the small one bedroom apartment..."bachin'" it up. Through a series of well...a lot of changes...some controlled...some out of our control... just 8 months into our marriage we decided it was best to move into the house... as the two bedroom apartment had become vacant. When we first came into the apartment... I could not believe this was where we were 1. going to live 2. going to raise our baby who was due to be born in June. I saw every imperfection, every thing that needed fixed, every thing that I disliked and I was not happy. I picked it apart room by room...light fixture by light fixture...and so on. At the beginning, I'd ask Andrew constantly, "Can we please replace this? or Can you please fix this?" ...Somewhere along the way (perhaps it was just time or having a baby...or a combination) all of those "things" didn't bother me as much. They weren't the "eye sores" that they once were. Just a part of my every day ordinary life. Until recently...as we've put the house on the market...suddenly I am once again very aware of every imperfection, every thing that needs to be fixed, and every detail that needs changed. I'm reminded that this is often how life is...both in the natural €and the spiritual. There are moments in life when we are bogged down with the weight of our "every day ordinary"...obsessed with it really...then Father time comes along...and perspective begins to change... or in the spiritual...we've been challenged to deal with "x"...we work away...pray away...etc. and it may feel like it will never be over...that there will never be freedom or victory...or peace... and then Father God comes along...reassures us...and we continue on with our "every day ordinary" lives better than we were before because we aren't consumed with all the "stuff" and are learning that in the end most of it doesn't matter anyway. Philippians 4:11 "...For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content..."

alone

One of the biggest misconceptions of single women...once I am married, I will no longer be alone The reality of it all...is even when you are surrounded by friends and loved ones, you can still feel incredibly alone. I have felt very alone all day. Near tears many moments as I battle the lonliness I feel. The enemy is quick to use this emotion to isolate you and ultimately get you down We all have lonely days. But, dear one, please never forget that you are not alone! God's grace is sufficient for thee. I am eternally grateful.